|No Thank You|
Spring is almost here and my favorite stores already have bathing suits on the sales racks. Seeing them reminded me of conversations I had with my daughter last summer regarding swimwear. She asked for a two-piece bathing suit last summer. I said “sure” thinking that she wanted a tank top and the little shorts for a bottom. Well, was I totally wrong! When we got to the store she had a fit because in her mind I had already promised her but I just could not buy my 4 year-old a bikini! Then I had to hear the sob story of all her friends at school wear them. Sure enough – we go to the pool party and a few of her friends had on bikinis.
It really scares me to see that dressing modestly is a topic of discussion mainly in only religious settings. I am not very religious now but I still see value in dressing at least a little modest but it feels like I am the only non-religious mother trying to instill it into my children. It’s turning me into that mean mom that doesn't let her daughter wear what she wants. My daughter is 5 and has already said that to me a few times! The next 13 years are going to be rough.
|That's a little better!|
I don’t think I need to go into detail as to why dressing our daughters modestly is important. Just think if you wore clothing similar to what you put on your young daughter and walk around town – how would you feel? Safe? Comfortable? How about when a man aggressively hits on you (and it will happen!). Think about your daughter having to deal with those same feelings and situations. Now, how do you feel about dressing modestly? I don't mean to be so harsh, I just want to show the reality of the situation.
On an lighter note, it really isn't too hard to persuade your daughters into dressing modestly. Mostly you just have to be a good role model for her. It's also helpful to:
- Start early: You can't put a bikini on your daughter every summer since she was born then suddenly at 14 years old tell her to cover up. If "modest" dressing is all she knows, she likely won't push for more revealing clothing. I grew up in a very religious home and spent my entire childhood covered up - not even the collar bone showing. I actually didn't even give much thought to showing more skin until I was around 16/17 years old.
- Have a open, frank discussion: If your daughter is resistant to dressing modestly, have an age-appropriate discussion about your concerns for her comfort & safety. My daughter is only 5 years old so I only mentioned her not be comfortable trying to run or play in tight/reveling clothing. If you feel you daughter is old enough and can handle the topic, tell her about the serious dangers dressing provocatively brings. It might make you both uneasy but you know it needs to be addressed.
- Find similar styles: If there is a certain mini skirt you daughter is begging to have, compromise. Go online and find one in a similar style/print that's a little (or a lot) longer. The websites PopSugar Shopping is great for specific searches like that.
- Expect rebellion: When she's older, she will likely rebel from everything you have taught her. If my mother is reading this post I bet she's is laughing her head off right now because I was (am) the epitome of rebellion. For a long time I totally went against everything my parents ever taught me. If/when your daughter does this - just take a deep breath and wait, she will be back eventually.
Do you have tips or advice for moms trying to keep their daughters dressing modestly? Please share in the comment section below